


Fleas

by Miraphina Atherton (mew_tsubaki)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Set Sometime During OotP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-10-01 18:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20366425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mew_tsubaki/pseuds/Miraphina%20Atherton
Summary: The Dark Lord's mind isn't the only thing that Harry doesn't understand...





	Fleas

**Author's Note:**

> The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not to me. A teensy bit of Remmius fluff with some Easter eggs for fans of [45 Ways to Make a Werewolf Fall for You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13920027) (though you don't have to have read that to love this). Read, review, and enjoy! Originally written for A Sirius Crush on Moony, jojor99, and Morghen.

"Mmph, _Moony_…"

"Oh, come on now. You can't expect me to take it easy on you after more than ten years wasted apart." Remus pouted until Sirius dropped his arms and kissed him back. Good Godric, it was mighty fine having such a familiar mouth on his again, such a familiar tongue down his throat again.

Sirius unbuttoned Remus' cardigan and kissed down his jaw and along his neck. Remus lost a little of his aggression, more at ease that Sirius was back in control. That was how it was supposed to be, anyway; Sirius had to top, and Remus was more than happy to bottom…

Of course, as luck would have it, there was no such thing as peace and quiet in Twelve Grimmauld Place, not since Sirius had offered it to Dumbledore as a haven for the reconstituted Order of the Phoenix. Just when all the clothes had been shucked and Sirius had been about to do that _very special_ thing Remus loved so much with his tongue—

"Sirius, Remus, lunch is ready!"

"BUGGER!" Sirius cursed.

Remus shook his head and sighed. "And just when I had managed to convince you, too, of a quickie…"

Sirius snorted, a healthy blush dusting his cheeks. "Good Merlin, Rem…did my absence corrupt you _that_ much?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. Though they dressed, the werewolf took his lover and pinned him to the wall for one more glorious moment. Sirius was delicious, and his skin was the best thing to kiss and suck and—

"Sirius, Remus, _lunch_!"

Sirius growled as Remus finally pulled away. "You know, Ron takes too much after his mother sometimes…" His companion nodded.

They headed down the stairs to join the others, and lunch went off without a hitch. Good thing, too, considering that any family meal enacted unwisely was a black mark in Molly Weasley's book. After lunch, Sirius planned on returning upstairs with Remus. "I swear to Merlin, once we get back up there, I will—"

"Oh, ha, Sirius, real funny!" Remus interrupted him on the way to the staircase.

Sirius looked at him quizzically. He hadn't said anything funny, but he'd been about to say something very much X-rated.

"All right, so I've got a joke for _you_," Remus added. He subtly jerked his head towards Harry, who was coming their way—well within earshot. Oh. "So, what's a cephalopod's favorite sport?"

"Uh…I dunno…"

"Squidditch!" Remus definitely was killing a mood he'd tried so hard to incite in Sirius earlier.

"Hey, Sirius," Harry said, seeing he wasn't interrupting much.

"What's up, Harry?" Sirius pinched Remus' arm—if Sirius had to suffer through that awful joke, then Remus had to suffer the wait.

"I was just wondering if you're all right…"

"What do you mean?"

Harry looked fairly concerned, his brow furrowed, and he gestured to Sirius' open collar. "The…the marks on your neck and chest…"

Sirius wanted an award for not blushing. "Oh, er, _these_…? Ahaha…" He looked to Remus. "Um, _these_, Moony…"

Remus looked like a thestral caught in a wand's light. "Um, _those_…ha…"

"You know what, Harry? It's nothing. The—uh—"

"The fleas have been really bad lately," Remus assured Sirius' godson.

Harry furrowed his brow again, but he did seem a little relieved. "Oh, good. Good, then. Well, I have to go see Ron, so we'll chat later, Sirius?"

"Absolutely," Sirius swore, and he felt as though a Dementor had been detached from him. "Oh, thank Godric we escaped that one…"

_However_…just as the two Marauders were about to disappear up the stairs, Hermione and Ginny appeared in Harry's stead around the corner, smiling. "Couldn't help eavesdropping," Ginny admitted.

Hermione's smile turned into a smirk. "Those, er, fleas wouldn't happen to be called Remus by any chance…?"

Sirius glared at Remus, who blushed and rolled his eyes. _BUGGER!_ the Black son thought.

**Author's Note:**

> XD A little bit of Remmius fun that I've actually had planned in my head for a while now… Hope you three enjoyed it!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please review!
> 
> -mew-tsubaki B)
> 
> 2017 note: XD *LOL* It could be 60, not 6, yrs later, and I will still cringe at that bloody joke—which I'm pretty sure my father gave me to use. ;P Anyway, if anyone can convince Remus to be so bold, it's Sirius. And, if anyone were to pick up on the atmosphere, it would most certainly be the girls and not Harry and Ron. XDDD


End file.
